When the 95th Academy Awards commence tonight, producers and Academy Members will all be praying for a smooth, tasteful show that’s completely free of unexpected chaos. But the comedy writers at “Saturday Night Live” might be hoping for a slightly different outcome.
The sketch show used its cold open on Saturday night to imagine everything that could go wrong at this year’s show. The sketch, which took the form of an Access Hollywood segment, began by lampooning the security measures being taken to prevent another slap.
“To make sure nothing crazy happens, the Academy hired a new head of security: notoriously calm and sane person Mike Tyson,” red carpet host Heidi Gardner said before bringing out Kenan Thompson as the retired boxer.
“I am ready to handle the proceedings judiciously and expeditiously,” Tyson said. “But I should warn you, the following things will set me off: clapping, statues of gold people, shows that last more than two hours, and the phrase ‘the magic of movies.’”
The show continued to mock the recent slew of unexpected gaffes at the Oscars (and the prevalence of gambling content in sports broadcasts) by revealing that the Academy has partnered with DraftKings to offer live Oscar betting odds for “degenerate gamblers.” But rather than focusing on potential award winners, the segment encouraged viewers to bet on things that could go wrong tonight.
The most popular prop bets included “a young actor brings out an older actor in a wheelchair and immediately regrets it,” “an actress who made $20 million last year will say the phrase ‘we are all Ukraine,’” and “someone in the In Memoriam segment is still alive.” With one billion to one odds, the biggest long shot was “Harvey Weinstein introduces Kanye West.”
The segment featured red carpet interviews with nominees Jamie Lee Curtis (Chloe Fineman) and Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson (Mikey Day and Molly Kearny), before bringing out Bowen Yang for another entry in his season-long performance as George Santos. This time, the lying congressman was pretending to be Tom Cruise — though he eventually had to duck out of his red carpet interview because he had to go “be everyone everywhere all at once.”
Watch the “Oscars Red Carpet Cold Open” from “Saturday Night Live” below.